Some are naturally drawn to meditative activities more than others and this is so with our children – my eldest is not (perhaps may never be, who knows) one for sitting and feeling his breathing, but I weave what I believe to be helpful from ‘mindfulness’ into our lives, very rarely naming it as such.
Much of this is without my conscious intention in the moment – instead it comes from the impact that my personal practice has had on me and how I am as a parent – but over the weekend I had cause to draw on things that I have learnt through mindfulness very consciously. My son had retreated to his room following an upset, and as I went upstairs I could hear him crying. He wanted comfort and company, but still had a lot of bottled up frustration and emotion that needed release – a process that he struggles with. As I joined him, which at one level he welcomed, needed, he became very worked up – it is hard to know how to help him at these times, being told to calm down really doesn’t help in moments when we’ve lost control. He had shared with me in the past that holding my hand helped so I reached to take his hand – hmm, not helping this time – and so instead after some breaths myself and during a brief stillness between sobs I drew his attention to sounds – oh what was that noise in the kitchen (thanks Dad clanging around with the dishwasher)… what else can we hear now we are listening? He responded to the shift in gear and gradually we picked up on other sounds from the house, the birds outside, my stomach... Sound became our anchor into the present on that particular morning – a means for him finally to settle. I was able to hold him then, to hold him and breathe together surrounded by the sounds. And with the ability to settle, his rational brain came back into control. We could gently talk about what had happened and what to do next.
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The revelation that 'thoughts are only mental events, not facts' was a lightbulb moment during my first 8-week mindfulness course four years ago. This morning walking back from school I smiled to myself as I became aware of a swirl of different thoughts around me, and that I was walking peacefully within the quiet centre of them rather than getting caught up and carried away. As I'm writing there's an image in my mind of a flock of hungry but harmless birds. With practice I am coming to a place where my natural default (at least when I am feeling in balance) is to step back from my thoughts, to see them as mental events, and to choose how I respond and interact with them.
A precious day in nature yesterday at Otmoor RSPB reserve. Since I was small I have always loved wildlife and wild spaces. I see now how these places help me come into the present moment - from doing mind into being - while filling me with awe and great joy. May we always protect and value them.
Drawn to a 'body scan' mindfulness practice this morning. It opened a precious window for observing my busy mental time-travel - travelling backwards (replaying experiences and conversations from yesterday's teacher training session) and travelling forwards (my immediate plans for the day, and a whirl of excited thoughts about my hopes and longer-term goals, and how I might achieve them). Noticing this mind wandering in the body scan, and then gently coming back to the present... Welcoming the invitation in the guidance to be with what is here now, where I am right now, and to hold all of this with friendliness, ease, patience. Looking after myself, gaining perspective and balance, by moving from doing into being mode. And a closing reminder in the guided practice that we can always connect and reconnect with the body here now.
(Keeping the body in mind Body Scan practice, Rebecca Crane, on the Oxford MBCT app) |
AuthorI'm Claire - and I (re)learn something every day from practising and teaching mindfulness... Archives
March 2022
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